Nickname: Nothing printable – the players call me lots of things when they are running up and down hills!

Date of birth: 5th June 1968.

Birthplace: [I always forget one question per profile].

Occupation: Prison warden.

Marital status: Married with two children, Dale (12) and Mata (8).

Previous clubs: Lydd Town Reserves, St Margarets, the Richmond Tavern [all as a player].

How did you get roped into Hythe: Through Andy Morris – I was headhunted! 

Are you enjoying it: No, I hate footballers.

Favourite team other than Hythe: Liverpool.

Favourite ground other than Reachfields: Greenwich Borough, for the pitch.

Least favourite ground: Erith Town – because it rained into the dugout.

Favourite music: Ballroom.

Favourite film: The Goodfellas.

Favourite holiday destination: France.

Favourite sport other than football: Cricket, but just watching.

Most embarrassing moment in football: Being subbed for the Richmond Tavern.

Describe yourself in up to five words: Short, fat, bald, squat, Adonis

Hardest worker in training: Ian Hayes.

The player who needs the most ‘persuasion’ in training: Buster.

Do any of them give you particular grief?: None of them is man enough [although Darren Walmsley was having a fairly good try from the next door balcony during the course of this ‘interview’ – ed].

Favourite Hythe player: None of them.

Who is the most famous person you’ve met: Kevin Keegan.

Tell us something about yourself that we don’t know: I grow show vegetables [and had come last that day with a carrot, which rather put the Dover victory into context!].