Nickname: None – just Joey.

Birthplace: Ashford.

Occupation: Insurance sales.

Favourite team other than Hythe: Manchester United (he was fairly apologetic about this – ed).

Previous clubs: Folkestone Invicta and Sittingbourne.

What brought you to Hythe: Regular football.

Favourite food: ‘Easy’ – Chinese.

Favourite drink: A bottle of Budweiser.

Favourite music: Nothing really.

Favourite TV show: Match of the Day.

Favourite film: Snatch.

Best moment in football: Playing in the First Round of the FA Cup for Folkestone (versus Chester City).

Favourite Kent ground other than Reachfields: Reachfields (I forgot he wasn’t allowed this answer – ed).

Least favourite ground: Sporting Bengal.

Favourite Hythe player: Buster, only because he scores all the goals.

Team joker: Scott Porter.

Has the boss ever given you a ticking off?: Not yet.

Who is the most famous person you have ever met?: David Beckham (giving autographs at a Man U match).

Ambition in football: To last 90 minutes (Joe had just limped off late in the match against VCD). And to win promotion with Hythe.

How many times did it take to pass your driving test (question inspired by Laura Fisk studying her Highway Code): That’s a good question – twice.