Nickname: None – just Rainbow.

Date of birth: 9th March 1987.

Birthplace: Middlesex.

Occupation: Tax-dodger – a student in sports science at Canterbury Christchurch.

Marital status: Single.

Previous clubs: Folkestone Invicta.

How did you get roped into Hythe: Seeking regular first team football.

Favourite team other than Hythe: Manchester United.

Favourite ground other than Reachfields: Crabble.

Least favourite ground: Ashford.

Favourite music: Arctic Monkeys.

Favourite film: The Snatch.

Favourite holiday resort: St Lucia.

Favourite sport other than football: Golf.

Most embarrassing moment in football: My mum’s shouting.

Describe yourself in up to five words: Vain.

Toughest opponent in training: Skelts.

Favourite Hythe player: Buster.

Which famous player do you think you play like: Fabregas.

Who is the most famous person you’ve met: Danny Dyer [a film star, apparently].

Tell us something about yourself that we don’t know: I’ve had my nipple pierced